I’m starting to look like Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate factory. No, not in colour; that would be extremely worrying, but in shape.
I have a wedding to attend in May and I haven’t a chance in hell of actually losing an ounce of weight before I go, unless I start chopping some limbs off. I’m just not in the right frame of mind at the moment. You know how it is; eating old musicals while watching cake, drinking my blanket, and crocheting the Malibu. I start off with good intentions; just the other night I had a salad with “Mexican style” brown rice and kidney beans; I felt so virtuous. I wanted to increase my vegetable intake so I followed that up with six slices of carrot cake – I never believed carrots could taste so good. So you see, I was doing really well, but later that night when I couldn’t sleep I gave in to temptation and ate four chocolate chip cookies. No wonder I can’t lose weight. Actually, I have been going to a slimming club, but it occurred to me that I could save my money by not going and have an extra fiver to spend on biscuits each week. I mean, what’s the point in going anyway? I spend all that money to hear something my waistband has already told me.
Still, if the wedding reception is in fancy dress I have some purple outfits hanging in my wardrobe…
Image from roalddahlfans.com
11 comments:
The mother has decided that "we" need to go to aerobics classes...and I use the term "we" very loosely.. I mean blaggghhhh *shudders*
Fancy joining us? =P ^_~
Another good source of fruit for your 5-A-Day is Bannoffee Pie. Eat the whole pie and you should be getting about 3 of your 5.
You know the rules of course? If someone else bought it then the calories don't count, they're not yours, they're someone elses. If you eat as you're walking/standing/moving around then they don't count as the exercise cancels them out. There are others, I shall try to recall them!
Aiders! Shame on you! We'll have no swearing in this comments section if you don't mind! ;) Sounds like it might be time for "the mother" to go home!
Oh yes Angela, I have that list of rules somewhere... let me see... oh no, I must have deleted it! I do stupid things like that sometimes. Thanks for the tip on the Bannoffee pie!
Mrs Woman - wanna be my diet buddy? I've got tolose weight for a special occasion too - nothing nice like a wedding though just to get on the waiting list for a kidney + pancreas transplant. Talk about motivation ... sheesh!
Now there's an idea! Not sure if I want to reveal my weight online though... I'm still hoping that readers will think I'm exaggerating and that I'm really a stunningly beautiful, tall, leggy, blonde with hair down to my waist and that I've gone up to a size 10 from my usual size 8! Well, at least one of those statements is true!
Of course I'll be your diet buddy though. I'll email you.
One of those statements is true... *ponders*
Perhaps we could have one of those public opinion telephone polls Mr Man is so fond of?
Hehehe, as long as they're not ringing here to cast their vote! I wouldn't mind raking in the cash from all the calls though. :)
*grins* about one of them statements is true....
Dosn't the whole world have to diet?.. I mean if the models/actors/public persons get any slimmer there will be nothing left of them.
Actually on that "story" I was impressed with Stella McCarthy who refused size 0 models on her catwalk show..but she still decided to choose 10-12 (uk size). Its a wonder why we bother anymore....
Ooh I know, isn't it scarey? How do they stay so thin? Bring back the hour glass, that's what I say!
So what you grinning at? Don't you believe me? :)
Who is this "Gym" person everyone keeps talking about? Is that a posh spelling of "Jim"?
"Are you joking in that last comment?" LOL you're too funny!
Me? A Spammer? I'll just wait patiently next time for my comment to appear then, instead of spamming over and over again. :)
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