Monday, January 21, 2008

A Commercial Break

I realise I haven’t updated this blog for quite a long time. View it as a commercial break; time to put the kettle on, nip to the loo, get the chocolate digestives out, or whatever else it is you do to avoid watching those annoying TV adverts.

For those of you who like to stay put and be entertained by the adverts…

Tesco have an amazingly special offer on Crunchy Nut Cornflakes at the moment. Buy one box for £2.58 or buy two boxes for £2.50! They’re paying you 8p to take a second box! That’s better than Buy One Get One Free!

Every little helps.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

I See Stupid People

I was in Subway’s the other week.

“Can I have a serviette please?” I asked the lad behind the counter.
“What’s one of those?” he asked, confused.
“You know, tissue to wipe my hands on”
It's only when someone else handed me one that he said:
“Oh, I call them napkins”

Yeah, same thing Einstein.

You think that’s bad. I was shopping for a frame today.

“Do you have any frames 50 x 60 cm?” I asked the shop assistant, who was probably in her 40’s.
“Let’s see… we have this one – 40 x 50 cm?” she offered.
“No, that’s too small” I said. Then she went on to offer me frames that were too big.
“What size did you say you wanted?” she asked eventually.
“50 x 60 cm” I confirmed.
“So that’s more of a square shape really isn’t it?”
“Umm, no, not really”

How can 50 x 60 cm be more of a square shape than 40 x 50 cm?

Changing the subject slightly (although maybe not completely) I thought I’d like to try my hand at knife throwing as a new hobby. I saw a lovely cleaver in town today…


Friday, January 04, 2008

Here’s a question for you…

When I’m doing a turn in the road to reverse my car into my driveway, why do pedestrians on the pavement stop and look at me as if I’m aiming right for them and I’m going to mount the curb to run them over?

Seriously though; how many Irish Cream Truffles do you recon I could eat and still be under the driving limit? (Alcoholic Irish Cream silly, not dairy cream made from Irish cows!)