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I was in Subway’s the other week.
“Can I have a serviette please?” I asked the lad behind the counter.
“What’s one of those?” he asked, confused.
“You know, tissue to wipe my hands on”
It's only when someone else handed me one that he said:
“Oh, I call them napkins”
Yeah, same thing Einstein.
You think that’s bad. I was shopping for a frame today.
“Do you have any frames 50 x 60 cm?” I asked the shop assistant, who was probably in her 40’s.
“Let’s see… we have this one – 40 x 50 cm?” she offered.
“No, that’s too small” I said. Then she went on to offer me frames that were too big.
“What size did you say you wanted?” she asked eventually.
“50 x 60 cm” I confirmed.
“So that’s more of a square shape really isn’t it?”
“Umm, no, not really”
How can 50 x 60 cm be more of a square shape than 40 x 50 cm?
Changing the subject slightly (although maybe not completely) I thought I’d like to try my hand at knife throwing as a new hobby. I saw a lovely cleaver in town today…
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17 comments:
I'm laughing like a drain at your last remark. Knife throwing, you kill me :-0
Hehehe :o)
Do drains laugh? *Mr Mans Wife looks confused - as usual*
I'm actually quite serious about the knife throwing, I think it would be a great way to relieve stress. Mr Man looks at me strangely every time I mention it though. I think he would like me to go back to map reading.
Shop assistant throwing sounds like a better way of dealing with your frustration. In my local subway (which I am banned from by Mrs P) you would have to ask for a Serwetka at least if the Polish staff are working, I am unsure about the Latvian or Lithuanian translation but they would happily pass you the required item once they understood. They have recently tried employing a local muppet to 'give him a chance' he failed to turn up or he turned up drunk, abusive, unwashed and unshaved so it's a ham umieszczają żadnych cebul brązowy chleb sprawiać przyjemność (proszę) that is should I ever accidentally be found making enquiries in that shop and find it is lunch time and I have no prepared sandwiches at the station.
Happy New Year.
Oh of course Robert, what else are you to do if you have no sarnies? :o) I know they sell chocolate chip cookies, but surely Mrs P wouldn't mind you eating healthy brown bread with ham and onion? (Couldn't get a translation for the rest) You might want to ask for a brown bread baguette rather than a brown bread beget though :P
No, shop assistants are too heavy, I'm going to stick to knife throwing I think. :o)
I found out what 53.9N means by the way. Maybe when you get a minute you could email me?
You could have really confused the chap in subway by asking him if they have a toilet/loo/lavatory in the premises.
P.S. I might be able to help you with the cleaver.
Hmmm to comment or not too comment that is the question...
Ok.. I am all for intergration.. I am all for the races and peoples and whatever to unite. I am tired though of being told how to always be politically correct.
I am trying not to make this comment motivated towards anything.. but as a nation I personally think that we are losing our own identity.
I visited my grand-parent at the weekend. She is from "the old school" where you must have a biscuit at least with your cup of tea. We went to a local "coffee shop" as we were walking to exhaustion around the place where she lives. My Gran placed the order with the youngish, guy from.. (enter small island place name here)
"Young man, I would like 2 cups of tea please. One with one sugar and one without" Gran said.
Then the "young man" starts spouting about all the different teas.. to my gran's utter disbelief..
After about 5 mins of his "dravel" (a word my gran herself said), Gran promptly turn's on her heels and tells him, (somewhat more politly than I probably would)what he can do with the "1001" versions of "a good old cup of tea"
So much for being "British" .
Trekkie, is it legal to send a cleaver in the post?
Robert, maybe you should answer this one. When I was in the shop admiring their beautiful cleavers I thought to myself "If I walked around with a cleaver in my handbag I could probably get arrested" - so how can you buy one in town and then get it home without being accused of carrying an offensive weapon?
Aiders, I have to agree that the politically correct brigade is becoming rather tiresome.
However, I'm not entirely sure the British nation ever had it's own identity in the first place - even the custom of drinking tea originates in India and China!
In an ideal world there would be no national boundaries.
Just for the record, the lad in Subway's wasn't foreign, he was just stupid :o)
Probably not legal to send it, but i've got one somewhere ......actually, disposing of old kitchen knives is usually asked a couple of times a year on foodie boards, and the general concensus is to take them to the police station for disposal. But my OH helps out in a charity shop and they occassionally get them handed in. He's told them umpteen times not to put them out for sale, but they don't listen.
I really don't know about how to dispose of old knives. One copper told me that handing such items in to the police station would result in about 45 minutes of paper work, so he said to just push it into the middle of a bag of rubbish and chuck it in the wheelie bin!
Ooh no, I couldn't buy a second hand knife; you really don't know where it might have been these days!
I do like that link - I posted it on a foodie forum I moderate on, with a warning not to order the Coq au Vin!!!!!
Hehehe :o)
Maybe Mr Man looks at you strangely because he's concerned it may lead to some kind of double act involving him tied to a revolving board and you throwing sharp objects at him ( well, not *at* him)
Lol, that could be true!
If you get arrested, tell 'em you know Inspector Gadget, actually, maybe NOT eh?
Ok, can we establish what I might be getting arrested for? Is this for having a cleaver in my handbag or for assistant throwing? Or knife throwing at assistants? Surely knife throwing in your own home is legal??
Only if you don't hit Mr. Man!!!!
Oh my goodness Trekkie, you need to see my kitchen at the moment... I've been doing a little... creative painting shall we say? I thought death would be a good theme (a reflection of my state of mind at the moment) and there is red paint everywhere!! It looks like I've killed someone!
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