Friday, February 09, 2007

Is there no end to the stupidity in this world?

Just when I think I have heard or read the most stupid thing I am ever going to hear or read in my entire life, ever, I come across something else that is even more stupid than the last stupid thing I heard or read.

I suppose the subject of this post on Mental Nurse is something I would usually write about in my other blog, and I have, but then people’s stupidity is usually something I blog about here.

Is there no end to people’s stupidity?

But maybe it works. What do I know? I’m only the wife of a Schizophrenic.

8 comments:

Angela said...

"I agree to rid my presence of all things I could use to harm or kill myself"

Taking that to the fullest extent, surely *anything* could be used to harm yourself if you really wanted to. So you remove all your kitchen knives, your cutlery too because I'm sure you could do damage with a teaspoon if you really wanted to. All your corckery because you could smash those. Tins of food. Dried pasta (it has sharp edges and a whole bag could go a long way). The list goes on. Pretty much anything could be used to inflict harm upon yourself if you really were intent on doing so.

So what are you left with? Not a lot, so now your patient either starves or is malnourished. If you take it to the fullest extent of its meaning of course.

But, I'm nitpicking. How ridiculous. When I self harmed I hid it from everyone especially the counsellor I was seeing (until one day months later I decided I needed help and saw my GP). Had I been expected to sign a contract I would have felt tremedous guilt at breaking that contract, which would not have dissuaded me, if anything would have encouraged me as it was my only coping mechanism at the time. On the other hand I may have seen that signing that contract was the best way to keep people off my back and hide the fact.

What a ridiculous idea. I'm wondering what types of people it would be used in. Perhaps someone who was making a decision and effort not to self harm, perhaps as suggested in that thread it would give them a sense of responsibility and control? Hmm.. actually, I think the opposite, it seems to take the control away, they wouldn't be making the decision for themselves but because they felt guilty at signing a piece of paper.

*ramble ramble*sqgoui

Mr Mans Wife said...

I agree Angela, and of course guilt is the last thing that the person needs heaped on top of them. I imagine that many times* it is feelings of guilt and self loathing that leads to self harm in the first place.

I say "many times" because I know the reasons for self harming are many and varied.

Anonymous said...

I disagree . . . but mainly about the way in which you have taken these "contracts" literally!

I've used them within my work as a form of agreement that has enabled someone to receive a service when they would other wise have been excluded from that service. For exapmle, someone who has a mental health difficulty & is known to use illicit drugs will be excluded from certain services. If they have a "contract" that outlines the expectations on them & those providing that service, the boundaries & consequences they may then be able to enter that service if they agree not to use the drugs on the premises. Not draconian but protecting the individual, the staff, other service users & the agency.

Another example would be that someone who has feeling of self harming & remains in their room in issolation has a "contract" that states they have agreed to spent time within the main building for an "agreed" amount of time & in returm have a contract that states they are entitled to access staff support at any time (as the feeling of guilt at asking for support are often greater than the need to seek support & prevent individuals seeking that support.

This can be a two way process where the individual states what they expect from the service, therefore dictating how they wish to receive support.

Granted they don't work for everyone, neither are they meant to be punative, they hold no legal weight but are no different to signing a tenancy agreement in a number of ways.

I've used them as a form of managing behaviour relating to personality disorders explaining that if an individual self harms they will not share this information with other vulnerable service users due to the negative impact on them etc etc . . . be a bit more open minded & consider there's very few total solutions & if it works for one person alone that has to be a ood thing

Anonymous said...

I don't mean to be rude & this is my first visit here but can I ask why you refer to yourself as "The Wife of a Schizophrenic" & not the "Wife of a man with Schizophrenia"?

Mr Mans Wife said...

Anonymous, thank your for your comments.

Obviously I can only write from my own experience. Previously I had never even heard of these contracts before, until I read a contract in full within the article linked to in my post. Therefore, my comments are specifically in relation to that particular contract.

I am not alone in believing that this particular contract comes across as patronising and humiliating by implying that at the time of attempting self harm or suicide that the service users are in full control of their mental faculties and are merely behaving like naughty school children, which obviously is not the case. As I have previously commented elsewhere on this issue, when Mr Man is suffering from psychosis and is most in danger of self harming or attempting suicide, I doubt that he would even remember signing such a contract.

Again, when a person is neglecting their physical needs as listed within the contract, this is due to an impaired mental state; either feeling too depressed to care for oneself adequately, or being unaware of ones own physical needs. For an individual who is too depressed to scrape themselves up from the sofa, a contract stating that they will not neglect themselves would only serve as a burden of guilt.

However, I can see how a contract between a service user and a service provider could be beneficial, when the service user has the opportunity to dictate how they wish to receive support in exchange for refraining from certain unacceptable behaviours such as using illicit drugs, which is within their mental capacity to agree to.

I agree that asking service users not to share information about their own self harm with other vulnerable service users is right and proper.


Anonymous, thank you for your question regarding why I refer to myself as “The Wife of a Schizophrenic” rather than “The Wife of a Man with Schizophrenia”. There is no reason, only that I thought it had a certain “ring” to it. Much like “Mr Mans Wife” rather than “The Woman who is Married to Mr Man”. It’s not something that offends him.

I presume both comments are from the same person. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Anonymous said...

anonymous said:

I don't mean to be rude & this is my first visit here but can I ask why you refer to yourself as "The Wife of a Schizophrenic" & not the "Wife of a man with Schizophrenia"?

Are you implying that the word "Schizophrenic" should not be used? If so, surely we should refer to an "Asthmatic" as "A person who suffers from Asthma"?

Where does it end?

Anonymous said...

I was not refering to the fact that the word schizophrenic should not be used but felt that using the label as the person could be offensive. I acknowledge that your experience as someone living with a person with this diagnosis has to be far more real than working with people with mental health difficulties.

I like your site & hope to visit often, if that's ok with you. I also acknowledge that within relationships we find our own way of expressing ourselves (even if we do live in a world where some of us have political correctness thrust down our throats!)

Mr Mans Wife said...

Thank you for your comments Anonymous and ... er ... Anonymous!

I realise what you mean about the label “Schizophrenic” causing possible offence to others, and I realise that if you work in an environment where political correctness is an issue then you were probably quite surprised by me using this term, but personally I have never found it to cause offence to anyone. My other blog entitled “The Wife of a Schizophrenic” attracts readers who suffer from the illness themselves; have relatives suffering from the illness; or work in mental health and treat patients with the illness; and to my knowledge none of these have taken offence at the title before. As I said previously, Mr Man isn’t offended by this either, and I feel that since the title directly refers to him, if he is not offended then neither should anyone else be!

Thank you for your positive comments; you are more than welcome to visit as often as you like. Do you have a blog of your own?