The Hilarious (mis)Adventures of Funky Monkey's Mother

Meet Funky Monkey. She is a normal, if hormonal, 15 year old girl with parents old enough to be her grandparents. Her (much) older siblings have all married and moved on, leaving Funky Monkey to cope with the growing pains of adolescence in the company of her two near retirement age parents, who grew up in a much simpler place in time. Their rural accents and outlook on life are far removed from Funky Monkey’s lipstick and posters, but their warm nature endears you to them. Funky Monkey’s Mother is homely and mothering, and bears a simplistic innocence that prevents her from grasping the concepts of today’s modern living; and so are born The Hilarious (mis)Adventures of Funky Monkey’s Mother…

I realise that many of these tales may be seen as “you had to be there” moments; I only hope I can do these true life tales justice. Funky Monkey’s Mother is just so loveable, and easily the funniest woman I have ever met, but she doesn’t even know she’s doing it. Her reputation precedes her, and no dinner party, day trip, or holiday is deemed complete without her.


Mr Man and I settled down to a game of “Articulate” in which a member of a team has to explain the word written on a card to the other team members without actually saying the word, and then those team members have to guess the word on the card. Funky Monkey, her Mother and her sister were also playing, while Funky Monkey’s Father slouched in front of the TV.

“I can’t read the writing, I haven’t got my glasses on” said Funky Monkey’s Mother, who we will call Peggy. “Wait a minute” she said as she walked over to Funky Monkey’s Father and whipped the glasses from his face, suddenly waking him from his doze. “That’s better” she said, putting on the glasses and joining us again. “Now. It’s a place, and it’s also a cheese” she stated. A stream of guesses quickly followed from all the players, as it was an “All Play”:
“Cheshire”
“Nope”
“Leicester”
“No”
“Gloucester”
“No”
“Cheddar” Mr Man suggested.
Peggy quickly spun round to face Mr Man and hand gestured for him to expand on his answer.
“Cheddar Gorge” he quickly added.
“Yes, that’s it!” She exclaimed.
“Oh, well done Mr Man” “It’s Mr Man again” “He’s too good for us” came the varying responses from the rest of us.
“No, wait a minute” Peggy interrupted. She sat there thinking for a moment.
“What?” we all asked.
“Was it Cheddar Gorge?” she asked herself as she held the card to her chest. “I can’t remember” she said. The rest of us just laughed.
“Why don’t you just look at the card?” Mr Man asked, and we all laughed louder.
She looked at the card again; “No, that’s not right” she confirmed.
A roar of laughter followed from Funky Monkey, her sister and I. We'd been guessing frantically for ages and she couldn't even remember what the answer was! (And I'm sure someone had actually guessed the correct answer, Chester (Is that a cheese?) earlier) Thankfully she’s not easily offended and she’s used to people laughing at the silly things she does.


When it was Funky Monkeys turn to read the card, she described the word “Muppet” as:
“An insult that [Funky Sister] doesn’t like”
“Bitch!” shouted the mild, sweet, innocent Funky Monkey’s Mother.
Shocked, we all burst into screams of laughter.
“No? Is that not right?” she asked innocently…


More Hilarious (mis)Adventures of Funky Monkey’s Mother coming soon!