I saw an elderly man mowing a front lawn the other day. He looked so frail that I couldn’t believe he had the strength to push the mower; he looked like he was holding on for support if anything.
On the driveway stood a younger man who spoke to him occasionally and then stood and watched the old man struggle. Morbid curiosity made me turn the car around to drive by for a closer look. By this time the younger man had been joined by two teenage boys.
The elderly man continued mowing. The other three continued to watch whilst chatting. Teatime TV ain’t what it used to be.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Bringing Home The Bacon
Obviously the great minds of our day have found the solution to all of mankind’s problems and have left “Scientists” with little to do with their time and resources, judging by this article.
Apparently, 4 researchers at Leeds University have spent more than 1,000 hours testing 700 variations of the traditional bacon sandwich to determine how to make the perfect bacon butty.
I especially liked the last paragraph where the mathematical formula for the perfect bacon butty was explained in detail. I shall sleep well tonight.
Apparently, 4 researchers at Leeds University have spent more than 1,000 hours testing 700 variations of the traditional bacon sandwich to determine how to make the perfect bacon butty.
I especially liked the last paragraph where the mathematical formula for the perfect bacon butty was explained in detail. I shall sleep well tonight.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Today's Top Tip
If you don’t want to wake up looking like a cross between Captain Caveman and Worzel Gummidge, don’t go to bed with wet hair wrapped in a towel.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Who Let The Dogs Out?
A UK #2 hit in 2000 for the Baha Men. Anslem Douglas originally recorded the song in 1998, but in 2001 he was sued by Patrick Stephenson and Leroy Williams, who had originally written the chorus for a radio jingle in 1995. The song has often been used at sporting events, the first use being in 1999 at a football game of the Mississippi State University, with a version sung by Chuck Smooth. (Who’s he?)
Unbelievably, both driving and shopping have been quite a joy of late – until this weekend...
Who let the stupid drivers out again? Every time I’ve been out in the car I’ve had to put up with some numpty driving right up my rear, almost close enough to push me along, or with their headlights shining in my mirrors, and I’ve even been beeped at a couple of times. I’d just like to point out that I don’t actually set the speed limits, ok? I just try to stick by them. You know, I’m just like anyone else; if someone is driving along at 20mph when the speed limit is 30 I get a tad irritated, but why get irritated with someone who is obeying the law and driving at the speed limit, just because you happen to feel that it’s not fast enough for you? Listen, if you want to get pulled over and given a speeding ticket that’s your business, but don’t try to push me into breaking the law/having an accident.
I was actually tempted to stop my car at a junction and get out to speak to the driver behind me this afternoon. I’d only just found out that a couple of people I know had been involved in a car accident and had been air lifted to hospital, and here was this loser, who had appeared from nowhere (obviously driving too fast to have caught up with me that quickly) and was driving right up my rear. These people annoy me so much. (Can you tell?) I had my niece in the car with me this evening so I decided to pull over and let yet another loser past as I thought it would be safer, but it’s not always possible.
Shopping on Saturday wasn’t so much irritating as embarrassing. Two women airing their dirty laundry in public and pointing their fingers in each others faces, and another woman waving her arms around as she shouted down her mobile phone “No, I won’t shut up! Jus’ get ‘ere now!...”, as well as the usual mothers screaming at their children like “fisher women”. Do these people have no shame?
Unbelievably, both driving and shopping have been quite a joy of late – until this weekend...
Who let the stupid drivers out again? Every time I’ve been out in the car I’ve had to put up with some numpty driving right up my rear, almost close enough to push me along, or with their headlights shining in my mirrors, and I’ve even been beeped at a couple of times. I’d just like to point out that I don’t actually set the speed limits, ok? I just try to stick by them. You know, I’m just like anyone else; if someone is driving along at 20mph when the speed limit is 30 I get a tad irritated, but why get irritated with someone who is obeying the law and driving at the speed limit, just because you happen to feel that it’s not fast enough for you? Listen, if you want to get pulled over and given a speeding ticket that’s your business, but don’t try to push me into breaking the law/having an accident.
I was actually tempted to stop my car at a junction and get out to speak to the driver behind me this afternoon. I’d only just found out that a couple of people I know had been involved in a car accident and had been air lifted to hospital, and here was this loser, who had appeared from nowhere (obviously driving too fast to have caught up with me that quickly) and was driving right up my rear. These people annoy me so much. (Can you tell?) I had my niece in the car with me this evening so I decided to pull over and let yet another loser past as I thought it would be safer, but it’s not always possible.
Shopping on Saturday wasn’t so much irritating as embarrassing. Two women airing their dirty laundry in public and pointing their fingers in each others faces, and another woman waving her arms around as she shouted down her mobile phone “No, I won’t shut up! Jus’ get ‘ere now!...”, as well as the usual mothers screaming at their children like “fisher women”. Do these people have no shame?
Saturday, March 31, 2007
What a Duffer...
Umm… yeah, I found out tonight why those star jumps were so blinkin’ hard to do…
I was at a friends house tonight, and experienced a strange desire to share my star jumping technique with her.
“I was doing star jumps earlier” I said, leaping out of my chair to demonstrate.
I stood in the centre of her living room and jumped up in the air whilst spreading my arms and legs out to the side at the same time, and then landing with my feet together and my arms by my side - a bit like a rather feeble attempt at those jumps they used to do in “Fame” when we were kids, but with my feet only leaving the floor by a few inches! My friend burst into fits of laughter.
“That’s not how you do star jumps!” she exclaimed, “You do them like this…”
She got up to join me in our jumping session. She jumped and landed with her legs apart and with her arms outstretched in one simple movement, and then jumped again as she brought her legs together and her arms down by her sides. She repeated this a few times before we had to stop through being doubled over with laughter.
“Oh. No wonder they were so hard to do!” I cried.
“Mr Man, how do you put up with her?” she asked, shaking her head.
“Hey, hang on a minute!” I protested through my laughs, “He was doing them like that as well…”
I was at a friends house tonight, and experienced a strange desire to share my star jumping technique with her.
“I was doing star jumps earlier” I said, leaping out of my chair to demonstrate.
I stood in the centre of her living room and jumped up in the air whilst spreading my arms and legs out to the side at the same time, and then landing with my feet together and my arms by my side - a bit like a rather feeble attempt at those jumps they used to do in “Fame” when we were kids, but with my feet only leaving the floor by a few inches! My friend burst into fits of laughter.
“That’s not how you do star jumps!” she exclaimed, “You do them like this…”
She got up to join me in our jumping session. She jumped and landed with her legs apart and with her arms outstretched in one simple movement, and then jumped again as she brought her legs together and her arms down by her sides. She repeated this a few times before we had to stop through being doubled over with laughter.
“Oh. No wonder they were so hard to do!” I cried.
“Mr Man, how do you put up with her?” she asked, shaking her head.
“Hey, hang on a minute!” I protested through my laughs, “He was doing them like that as well…”
Friday, March 30, 2007
Today's Top Tip
If you’re overweight and extremely unfit, try to resist the sudden urge to do star jumps, no matter how strong the desire.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
An End to Slavery?
There has been a lot of news articles recently about the 200th anniversary of the “abolition” of the slave trade, which apparently falls on Sunday 25th March.
The media has focussed a lot of attention on sex trafficking and described that as a type of slavery, as if the connection between the two has only just occurred to them, or as if they’ve only just discovered that it exists.
Wake up and smell your Fair Trade coffee.
And then there’s this little gem.
Personally I find it perversely hypocritical to say on one hand:
“We’re appalled that our ancestors used to treat their fellow man in this way. We’re so glad that we’re a civilised nation now, and don’t earn our fortunes through the slave trade anymore”
…and then on the other hand say…
“…but I’ll keep hold of my huge inheritance that was amassed through treating others in such an appalling way, thank you very much.”
If you wish, you can help to pay for the upkeep of their home which was built on slavery, and in exchange have a guided tour. Of course, being a charitable institution, you are encouraged to pay more than the base entry fee, thus enabling them to claim a further 28% from the government.
In keeping with the spirit of charity, entry is free on Sunday 25th March – the 200th anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade.
Happy anniversary.
The media has focussed a lot of attention on sex trafficking and described that as a type of slavery, as if the connection between the two has only just occurred to them, or as if they’ve only just discovered that it exists.
Wake up and smell your Fair Trade coffee.
And then there’s this little gem.
Personally I find it perversely hypocritical to say on one hand:
“We’re appalled that our ancestors used to treat their fellow man in this way. We’re so glad that we’re a civilised nation now, and don’t earn our fortunes through the slave trade anymore”
…and then on the other hand say…
“…but I’ll keep hold of my huge inheritance that was amassed through treating others in such an appalling way, thank you very much.”
If you wish, you can help to pay for the upkeep of their home which was built on slavery, and in exchange have a guided tour. Of course, being a charitable institution, you are encouraged to pay more than the base entry fee, thus enabling them to claim a further 28% from the government.
In keeping with the spirit of charity, entry is free on Sunday 25th March – the 200th anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade.
Happy anniversary.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
It's a Bum Rap
I was chatting with my brother on the phone tonight and he was complaining about how every piece of mail through his letter box just lately is to tell him that another bill has gone up. He’s tried to cut back where he can, and as he doesn’t use the internet much he decided to switch his ISP so that he could take advantage of the free service provided by his digital TV service provider. He jokingly said that he’ll also have to use the free newspaper instead of toilet paper soon to save money. Anyway, after deciding to announce that he needed to go to do a poo, he asked me to email him to make sure that his new email address was working properly, so I decided to compose a rap…
Yo, Bro
You said you had to go
But I’m still smilin’
Freestylin’
While you’re on the Poe
Now there’s somethin’ you should know
Don’t waste the
Newspaper, down the pan
‘Cos later
What you choose
To use
You’ll accuse
When your pan’s blocked
Don’t act shocked
It’s not like I didn’t warn you
Not tryin’ to scorn you
Never diss you
I still miss you
I’m just saying
You’ll be paying
For a plumber
It’s a bummer
So use Andrex ok?
Yo, Bro
You said you had to go
But I’m still smilin’
Freestylin’
While you’re on the Poe
Now there’s somethin’ you should know
Don’t waste the
Newspaper, down the pan
‘Cos later
What you choose
To use
You’ll accuse
When your pan’s blocked
Don’t act shocked
It’s not like I didn’t warn you
Not tryin’ to scorn you
Never diss you
I still miss you
I’m just saying
You’ll be paying
For a plumber
It’s a bummer
So use Andrex ok?
Friday, March 16, 2007
Red Nose Day
It’s done. He did it. Mike (and others) completed the mammoth task of compiling a book in just seven days. Shaggy Blog Stories.
But this isn’t just any old book. Oh no no! This book contains entries from 100 authors (more than even the Bible with a mere 40), and all British Bloggers at that, all with the sole intention of bringing a smile to your fair face and raising money for Comic Relief at the same time.
So what are you waiting for? Oh, where to buy it? Of course, silly old me…
www.shaggyblogstories.co.uk
But this isn’t just any old book. Oh no no! This book contains entries from 100 authors (more than even the Bible with a mere 40), and all British Bloggers at that, all with the sole intention of bringing a smile to your fair face and raising money for Comic Relief at the same time.
So what are you waiting for? Oh, where to buy it? Of course, silly old me…
www.shaggyblogstories.co.uk
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Genetically Modified Tomatoes?
Listen, if you’re going to waste time trying to reinvent the wheel, why don’t you do something really useful and make the cherry tomato square so that it doesn’t keep rolling off my plate? (And for some reason it always seems to roll towards me when it’s covered in an oily dressing)
And while you’re at it, how about genetically modifying the plastic bottle so that my shopping doesn’t keep falling over and rolling around all over the place? I can’t possibly be the only person in the world who absolutely despairs at trying to get these bottles to stand upright, so why has no one redesigned this utterly useless piece of plastic? It's as pointless as storing liquid in a balloon - both roll all over the place, and have you ever tried untying a balloon with liquid in it? It makes a mess doesn’t it? Yeah, the same thing happens when you open a bottle of pop that’s been rolling around on the floor.
How can human kind possess the knowledge and technology to enable them to propel satellites into space and yet not realise that the design of the Pepsi cola bottle is seriously flawed? And why waste time trying to make a tomato red when it’s already red, and juicy when it’s already juicy, when all I really want is to be able to eat the smeggin’ thing without it rolling under the table?
And while you’re at it, how about genetically modifying the plastic bottle so that my shopping doesn’t keep falling over and rolling around all over the place? I can’t possibly be the only person in the world who absolutely despairs at trying to get these bottles to stand upright, so why has no one redesigned this utterly useless piece of plastic? It's as pointless as storing liquid in a balloon - both roll all over the place, and have you ever tried untying a balloon with liquid in it? It makes a mess doesn’t it? Yeah, the same thing happens when you open a bottle of pop that’s been rolling around on the floor.
How can human kind possess the knowledge and technology to enable them to propel satellites into space and yet not realise that the design of the Pepsi cola bottle is seriously flawed? And why waste time trying to make a tomato red when it’s already red, and juicy when it’s already juicy, when all I really want is to be able to eat the smeggin’ thing without it rolling under the table?
Friday, March 09, 2007
Shaggy Blog Stories
Attention all bloggers!
Today I have stumbled across this brilliant idea.Basically, all bloggers are being asked to submit just one blog post, preferably their funniest, to be included in a book entitled “Shaggy Blog Stories” which will go on sale next Friday, 16th March. As you may, or may not know, this date is Red Nose Day, and all money raised (minus publishing fees) will be donated to Comic Relief.
Time is ticking away! This book is being compiled in just 7 days, with the closing time/date being 6pm GMT Wednesday 14th March. (Surely this has to be a record for the largest amount of contributors for one book, and being compiled in the shortest amount of time?)
Everyone is being encouraged to publicise this event on their own blogs, contribute to the book themselves, buy the book next Friday, and advertise the book once it goes on sale.
I’m not sure if I’ve really ever written anything that funny myself, but I hope to read some of my favourite posts by other bloggers.
So get blogging!
You can read more about this event here: troubled-diva.com
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Oompa Loompa Doompety Doo…
Lyrics from the “Oompa Loompa” songs written by Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley for the film “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” 1971. The original book, which was entitled “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, was written by Roald Dahl and first published in 1964. The screen play of the 1971 film adaption was written by Roald Dahl and David Seltzer, and by John August in the 2005 remake, which was titled the same as the book.
I’m starting to look like Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate factory. No, not in colour; that would be extremely worrying, but in shape.
I have a wedding to attend in May and I haven’t a chance in hell of actually losing an ounce of weight before I go, unless I start chopping some limbs off. I’m just not in the right frame of mind at the moment. You know how it is; eating old musicals while watching cake, drinking my blanket, and crocheting the Malibu. I start off with good intentions; just the other night I had a salad with “Mexican style” brown rice and kidney beans; I felt so virtuous. I wanted to increase my vegetable intake so I followed that up with six slices of carrot cake – I never believed carrots could taste so good. So you see, I was doing really well, but later that night when I couldn’t sleep I gave in to temptation and ate four chocolate chip cookies. No wonder I can’t lose weight. Actually, I have been going to a slimming club, but it occurred to me that I could save my money by not going and have an extra fiver to spend on biscuits each week. I mean, what’s the point in going anyway? I spend all that money to hear something my waistband has already told me.
Still, if the wedding reception is in fancy dress I have some purple outfits hanging in my wardrobe…
Image from roalddahlfans.com
I’m starting to look like Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate factory. No, not in colour; that would be extremely worrying, but in shape.
I have a wedding to attend in May and I haven’t a chance in hell of actually losing an ounce of weight before I go, unless I start chopping some limbs off. I’m just not in the right frame of mind at the moment. You know how it is; eating old musicals while watching cake, drinking my blanket, and crocheting the Malibu. I start off with good intentions; just the other night I had a salad with “Mexican style” brown rice and kidney beans; I felt so virtuous. I wanted to increase my vegetable intake so I followed that up with six slices of carrot cake – I never believed carrots could taste so good. So you see, I was doing really well, but later that night when I couldn’t sleep I gave in to temptation and ate four chocolate chip cookies. No wonder I can’t lose weight. Actually, I have been going to a slimming club, but it occurred to me that I could save my money by not going and have an extra fiver to spend on biscuits each week. I mean, what’s the point in going anyway? I spend all that money to hear something my waistband has already told me.
Still, if the wedding reception is in fancy dress I have some purple outfits hanging in my wardrobe…
Image from roalddahlfans.com
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Speechless
I just read this article on Inspector Gadgets blog.
I don’t care that he was a Police officer. I care that he is a human being.
Howmuch little is a life worth these days?
In particular read this incredibly moving poem by James, the brother of the victim, Daniel Coffill.
I don’t care that he was a Police officer. I care that he is a human being.
How
In particular read this incredibly moving poem by James, the brother of the victim, Daniel Coffill.
Daniel Coffill
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
The Night is Filled With Music
Instrumental written by Irving Berlin, 1938. From the film “Carefree” staring Fred Astaire and Ginger Rodgers.
She looked so beautiful. Her perfect curls secured in place, her long eyelashes, and her sleeveless gown that revealed her elegant, slender arms. The handsome man in the perfectly tailored suit took her by the hand and they seemed to float away. Gracefully they swayed across the floor; the only evidence of their feet touching the ground was the occasional tapping sound in time with the music; her long flowing dress as fluid and light as their bodies.
“I wish I had a dress like that” thought the little girl. She was mesmerised as she sat right in front of the TV staring at the screen. The rest of the family were doing their own thing; this wasn’t to their taste at all. The end of the film was always a bitter sweet moment; she hated the fairy tale moments to end, but she couldn’t wait to run upstairs and create her own fantasies behind the closed door of her bedroom.
She looked so beautiful. Her perfect curls secured in place, her long eyelashes, and her sleeveless gown that revealed her elegant, slender arms. The handsome man in the perfectly tailored suit took her by the hand and they seemed to float away. Gracefully they swayed across the floor; the only evidence of their feet touching the ground was the occasional tapping sound in time with the music; her long flowing dress as fluid and light as their bodies.
“I wish I had a dress like that” thought the little girl. She was mesmerised as she sat right in front of the TV staring at the screen. The rest of the family were doing their own thing; this wasn’t to their taste at all. The end of the film was always a bitter sweet moment; she hated the fairy tale moments to end, but she couldn’t wait to run upstairs and create her own fantasies behind the closed door of her bedroom.
Drawing by Chuck Rose
In her room she could forget the madness of being part of a one parent family with 3 older siblings and 3 younger. Although she shared her room with her two younger sisters, they were too young to want to play in their own room. She had arranged the furniture herself so that there was a space in the centre of the room. Imagining those beautiful melodies in her mind she would drift away, skipping and twirling in her imaginary ball gown. There was even a patch of bare floorboards, right by the door, where the carpet hadn’t quite reached to the edge of the room, and there she would make up her tap dancing steps.
She loved all kinds of dancing and music and singing. Even now, 25 years later, that little girl still loves to sit and watch old musicals. They’re just so happy and gay and they take her away to a much simpler place in time – a time before she was even born. A magical time. A time that probably doesn’t even exist except on the silver screen and in every little girls imagination.
Just lately I’ve been watching musicals every night - hence the lack of posts. I go through these phases sometimes; it’s just something I need to do. I swear I was born 50 years too late.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Yabba Dabba Doo!
I had my slimming club meeting tonight.
“How much did you lose?” Mr Man asked.
“Blimey, he’s optimistic” I thought.
Unbelievably I did manage to lose some weight though. I say “unbelievably” because when you hardly sleep there are more hours in the day to eat food. And when you’re tired you can’t be bothered to cook so you eat any ol’ rubbish.
On my way home I popped into the local supermarket. I finally gave in and bought some sleeping tablets. They’re just herbal things so I hope they do something. I didn’t want anything stronger because I don’t want to feel drugged up all day. Right now though I don’t feel like I’m going to need them tonight. I’m resisting the urge to go to bed, because I know that if I sleep now I will wake up again in three hours time and then be awake again all night.
I wonder how many people I irritated tonight? When I’m tired I do everything in slow motion. I shuffle along with my trolley and every now and again I stop and stare at a shelf even though I have no idea what I’m even looking at. Strangely enough I drive really slowly when I’m tired as well. I have no idea why. I could understand it if I had a Flintstone car.
Man alive, I wouldn't look that happy if my car was leg powered. It's too much effort to press the accelerator.
Picture from Google images.
“How much did you lose?” Mr Man asked.
“Blimey, he’s optimistic” I thought.
Unbelievably I did manage to lose some weight though. I say “unbelievably” because when you hardly sleep there are more hours in the day to eat food. And when you’re tired you can’t be bothered to cook so you eat any ol’ rubbish.
On my way home I popped into the local supermarket. I finally gave in and bought some sleeping tablets. They’re just herbal things so I hope they do something. I didn’t want anything stronger because I don’t want to feel drugged up all day. Right now though I don’t feel like I’m going to need them tonight. I’m resisting the urge to go to bed, because I know that if I sleep now I will wake up again in three hours time and then be awake again all night.
I wonder how many people I irritated tonight? When I’m tired I do everything in slow motion. I shuffle along with my trolley and every now and again I stop and stare at a shelf even though I have no idea what I’m even looking at. Strangely enough I drive really slowly when I’m tired as well. I have no idea why. I could understand it if I had a Flintstone car.
Man alive, I wouldn't look that happy if my car was leg powered. It's too much effort to press the accelerator.Picture from Google images.
Today's Top Tip
Remember to look over your right shoulder when about to pull away from the curb in a motor vehicle. There really is a blind spot in your mirrors - large enough to hide a lorry, apparently.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Is there no end to the stupidity in this world?
Just when I think I have heard or read the most stupid thing I am ever going to hear or read in my entire life, ever, I come across something else that is even more stupid than the last stupid thing I heard or read.
I suppose the subject of this post on Mental Nurse is something I would usually write about in my other blog, and I have, but then people’s stupidity is usually something I blog about here.
Is there no end to people’s stupidity?
But maybe it works. What do I know? I’m only the wife of a Schizophrenic.
I suppose the subject of this post on Mental Nurse is something I would usually write about in my other blog, and I have, but then people’s stupidity is usually something I blog about here.
Is there no end to people’s stupidity?
But maybe it works. What do I know? I’m only the wife of a Schizophrenic.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
"Riddle Me This, Riddle Me That..."
- The Riddler, played by Jim Carey, in Batman Forever 1995.
Pop over to Trainee Paramedics blog where he has posted a couple of riddles for our amusement. No peeking at the solutions in the answers post though!
So, there's 8 balls...
Pop over to Trainee Paramedics blog where he has posted a couple of riddles for our amusement. No peeking at the solutions in the answers post though!
So, there's 8 balls...
Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!
Lyric written by Sammy Cahn and music by Jule Styne in 1945. First recorded by Vaughn Monroe in 1946. Although traditionally thought of as a Christmas song, the lyrics in this love song contain no mention of Christmas at all.
“Oh, the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful…”
Ahh… is there anything better than listening to some old tunes while curling up by an open fire?
“And since we’ve no place to go…”
Actually, it's not so much having no place to go, but Mr Man has banned me from driving in this weather in case I have an accident. Also I received an email from a friend the other day asking me: “Have you crashed into anyone recently?” Blimey, knock down one telegraph poll and you never hear the end of it! Still, if I know I won’t be driving it means I can relax with a glass of Bailey’s by the fire, so…
“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!”
I'm afraid I have to disagree with our friend Tom Reynolds (sorry Tom), who thinks it's stupid that schools close for the day and that the whole country comes to a standstill when it snows. It seems to snow much less than I remember as a child. I don’t think it snows often enough in this country for people to really know how to cope with it, and people certainly don’t know how to drive in it. I think everywhere should close for the day and kids should be able to stay home from school and make the most of the snow while it lasts. He's just jealous because his brother (who is a teacher) got a day off work and he didn't!
Spare a thought for people who have to go out and work in it too – like our postmen/women. Imagine them walking around in it for two or three hours while it’s still snowing; getting wet and cold, and trying to stay upright with a heavy bag of mail on their back.
“Oh, the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful…”
Ahh… is there anything better than listening to some old tunes while curling up by an open fire?
“And since we’ve no place to go…”
Actually, it's not so much having no place to go, but Mr Man has banned me from driving in this weather in case I have an accident. Also I received an email from a friend the other day asking me: “Have you crashed into anyone recently?” Blimey, knock down one telegraph poll and you never hear the end of it! Still, if I know I won’t be driving it means I can relax with a glass of Bailey’s by the fire, so…
“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!”
I'm afraid I have to disagree with our friend Tom Reynolds (sorry Tom), who thinks it's stupid that schools close for the day and that the whole country comes to a standstill when it snows. It seems to snow much less than I remember as a child. I don’t think it snows often enough in this country for people to really know how to cope with it, and people certainly don’t know how to drive in it. I think everywhere should close for the day and kids should be able to stay home from school and make the most of the snow while it lasts. He's just jealous because his brother (who is a teacher) got a day off work and he didn't!
Spare a thought for people who have to go out and work in it too – like our postmen/women. Imagine them walking around in it for two or three hours while it’s still snowing; getting wet and cold, and trying to stay upright with a heavy bag of mail on their back.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Extra Extra! Read All About It!
I thought it was about time I updated my list of links in the side bar as I’ve been reading some very funny and interesting blogs of late, and as I’ve had another sleepless night I thought I’d give you a little explanation of each blog while I decide whether to go back to bed or whether to try to force myself to stay up until I’m so tired that I feel like death and I have to give in and go back to bed and then I would have slept too late in the day to be able to sleep tonight and I’ll be kicking myself and wishing that I went to bed this morning instead of trying to force myself to stay up even though it’s not really my fault because I didn’t know what to do because if I went to bed this morning I didn’t know whether I would actually be able to sleep or not. In the mean time maybe someone could Google “the longest sentence in the world recorded in the Guinness book of records” for me.
I’ve never really had a very high opinion of NHS Direct. I called one time for some medication advice and the woman on the phone wanted to send an ambulance for Mr Mans indigestion. I’ve never bothered phoning them again, but if I knew I would have this clever lady answering the phone then maybe I would. There is always two sides to every story, and for every stupid person you think works at NHS reDirect you can guarantee that this lady will answer the phone to at least 50 stupid people ringing them. It’s a very stressful job too, sometimes being the first person that a caller will speak to after experiencing traumatic events. Read the list of 25 random calls listed here and see for yourself.
I’ve been reading a couple of blogs written by Special Constables of late. Hobby Bobby has some very funny stories to tell, and SirBusy is a teacher in his “day job” so he even knows how to spell and like use proper grammar? And all stuff like that innit? I was like well impressed.
Another blog I’ve been reading is written by a copper who calls himself Grannys.Myth.Peeler, but he doesn’t write about his work. He has a very vivid imagination shall we say, and if you don't mind some swearing I guarantee you’ll be crying with laughter. His characters (real or imagined, I have no idea) really come to life. Men of Steel has got to be one of the best.
Has anyone ever come across any British FireFighter blogs?
I’ve never really had a very high opinion of NHS Direct. I called one time for some medication advice and the woman on the phone wanted to send an ambulance for Mr Mans indigestion. I’ve never bothered phoning them again, but if I knew I would have this clever lady answering the phone then maybe I would. There is always two sides to every story, and for every stupid person you think works at NHS reDirect you can guarantee that this lady will answer the phone to at least 50 stupid people ringing them. It’s a very stressful job too, sometimes being the first person that a caller will speak to after experiencing traumatic events. Read the list of 25 random calls listed here and see for yourself.
I’ve been reading a couple of blogs written by Special Constables of late. Hobby Bobby has some very funny stories to tell, and SirBusy is a teacher in his “day job” so he even knows how to spell and like use proper grammar? And all stuff like that innit? I was like well impressed.
Another blog I’ve been reading is written by a copper who calls himself Grannys.Myth.Peeler, but he doesn’t write about his work. He has a very vivid imagination shall we say, and if you don't mind some swearing I guarantee you’ll be crying with laughter. His characters (real or imagined, I have no idea) really come to life. Men of Steel has got to be one of the best.
Has anyone ever come across any British FireFighter blogs?
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